A Rare Poem

I do not usually write poems.  This poem is about a couple that hasn’t been together very long, but they are dealing with the seriousness of past dramatic events.  This deals with a certain topic, but the point of this poem is that when one person struggles, the other is there to help the other one through it, no matter the topic or issue.  The first five stanzas are from the perspective of one person while the last five are from their partner.  This poem is called Life: Me and You

Life: You are so unfair that I cannot even describe.
You have taken so much good from me, but I take it in stride.
Instead of leaving me alone, you fill the void with dread.
I am so broken, I do not want to even get out of bed.

No one prepares you for losing a child.
It takes its toll like being unprepared in the wild.
It does not matter if they are unborn or old.
It is still a kick in the guts, and just makes me fold.

Even if I deserved this, my child did not.
For how could you fuck them over on their lot?
The pain is unbearable, no matter how much time has passed.
I don’t know why I get to live with all of my sins amassed.

I am ugly and dead inside because I could not prevent it.
All the good that has been, it has been ruined by shit.
Even though I so badly want to be able to move on and to just say fuck it!
My guilt keeps me bound and tied to this shithole bucket.

I do not want your pity or your remorse.
All I want to do is stay the course.
I am broken and can never be fixed.
This is my lot in life that can never be nixed.

Babe, I see you here in your agony and pain.
But I do not come into this relationship in vain.
No matter how much I want to, I cannot change the past.
Nor can I wipe out all of the sins you have amassed.

I cannot fix you, nor would I try.
To give you peace, I would lay down and die.
But I know that isn’t possible either way,
So I will be supportive and stay.

I have lost a child, but not in the same manner.
I am willing to stand next to you and help hold your banner.
I know it hurts, far more than I can imagine.
Like a ruthless, brutal, fucking moral assassin.

Life is unfair, but it has brought us together.
Perhaps, to lighten your burden to the weight of a feather.
That is ambitious and probably not the case,
But whatever life brings, I will keep pace.

For you might think yourself ugly, but I know something you don’t.
For I am willing to admit it, even if you won’t.
You are crazy beautiful, and love you, I do.
I am willing to take this crazy ride, sitting right next to you.

Fate?

I am not a firm believer in fate, but I am a firm believer in that things happen for a reason.  For example, people can come into our lives because they need help, or we need help.  Karma might come back and dry fuck us in the ass because we deserved it.  You know, sometimes shit happens because we just make really bad decisions.  Having said all that, I believe people are brought into our lives for a specific purpose.  Maybe we learn that we do not want that type of crazy.  Maybe we figure out that the life we have been leading is really no life at all.  Some people make us better; some make us worse.  Then, there are some people that make us realize that the fantasies we have had since teenage years of being strapped down, blindfolded, and made to endure both pain and pleasure with no control over the situation at all are fucking legendarily awesome!  Just sayin…. for a friend.  You know…

Whether you believe in fate, karma, or anything related to that, we can all learn from what happens in daily life.  When a situation goes bad, we can learn why it went bad and not make the same mistakes.  When someone enters or leaves our lives, we can take notes of why things happened the way they did.  The question to never stop asking is “why?”  The key to answering that question is honesty.  I have learned a lot about myself from asking why and being completely honest with myself.

For example, “Why did I get divorced?”  Because I wasn’t happy.  “Why wasn’t I happy?”  I kept asking myself questions until I could no longer ask any more questions.  I could go way down in this rabbit hole, but for simplicity’s sake, the answer boils down to the fact that we were two completely different people who got married way too quickly and were never really ourselves.  I could write an entire book on the subject, but I think I will pass on that.  It took a while and many times just sitting and thinking before I peeled back all of the layers for the truth.  The truth can hurt our egos, but knowing the truth will lead to a better, happier life down the road.

What We Are Here For

At some point in our lives, we question why we are here.  Are we here specifically to worship a god?  Are we here to just procreate and keep our species going?  Is there even a reason we exist?  I know I am not the only one who has asked these questions.  Here is a question: Does it even matter?  We all have our own religious beliefs.  Yes, atheism is actually a religious belief.  I hate it when people try and push their religion on me, so I do not press mine on them.  I just live my life how I think I should (with a bunch of added shit I know I shouldn’t).

I have a challenge, but first, there has to be some back story.  In today’s world, especially with the younger generation, people are only worried how everything affects them.  We get into pointless arguments with people who hold no value in truth.  They only value their thoughts and beliefs, and if we hold some other view, we are condemned.  Instead of trying to empathize with the other person or figure out why they think the way they do, these people lash out and attack.  Why?  In a society where everyone gets a trophy, people are not being taught there are other solutions to problems.  If we don’t like someone, it is always their fault (think about politics).  The challenge for us is to change that.

Change starts with ourselves.  We cannot change other people, but during our interactions with people, we can, perhaps, open their eyes to a new way of thinking.  Throughout The Event series, Evan Willcox brought new ways of thinking to alien societies.  As is in the real world, it is often met with fierce resistance.  He always tries to do what he thinks is best, but it never ends up like he thinks it should.  Something unexpectedly bad always happens.  Why?  He fails to see the bigger picture.

So, why are we here?  People think they know, but really, no one can be sure until we die.  In the meantime, we should be the best version of ourselves that we can be.  Yes, we will make mistakes, but we must learn from those mistakes.  I will tell you that I will be here to expand my boys’ horizons, and make them think outside the box.  They should ask why all the time.  I will also be here to try and make people’s lives around me better.  I might not be the best person in the world (far from it, actually), but I will do what I can to help those around me in their time of need.  Perhaps, that is while we are here.  Acquisition of material things at the expense of our friends and family is pointless.  We cannot take it with us, but we can lose everyone that we care about in the process.  Let’s quit worrying about why others are wrong and worry more on improving ourselves and helping the people close to us.